i dread the competition on friday.
and i feel upset about my results. and what ms mah said.
the feeling of not trying hard enough, knowing that if you had tried a bit harder in the beginning, things would be nicer now.
why was i so stupid in 1.1? why did he distract me so much then? why did i play so much?
how come my grades were so lousy then, and how come they improved tremendously in 1.2?
i didnt change studying habits or anything.
arghhhh. so close, but now so so so far from it.
ya, i harbour a lot of self-hatred. and now, even more hatred for TP. this stupid school with stupid rules. they dont even follow so many rules they implement. argh. phuckkk.
i need some retreat. one of those lonely mountain retreats where people connect with their spirituality and with nature. where there are no processed foods.
arghhhhh. :( phuck.
posted by hazie @ 10:41:00 pm
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