hazie at wettyblanket.blogspot.com

affected

..i still feel affected. perhaps i am not over the initial shock. i hope my heart calms down asap.. i feel stoned and unable to function normally. i don't even know him. why am i so affected?

i hope his friends are okay. it must feel so saddening to lose someone close, someone who had been a source of joy, laughter, and comfort.. someone you shared good and bad times with, someone you had fun with, and also got punished with..

.. i hope his family members are doing well too.. it's hard losing someone who has been part of your daily life for 19 years. i'll admit i don't understand fully their intentions, and am dubious.. but as an outsider, who am i to judge? i cannot allow myself to pass comments when i don't understand the situation.

i hope those who were close to him don't bear it against themselves - i believe i'd feel guilty if i had known him.. guilty that i wasnt a good enough friend, that i could have somehow done something to prevent or minimize what had happened.. but i believe it isn't anyone's fault.. i guess when someone is called, he has to go, whether or not preventive measures were taken..

..most of all, i hope he is in some better place, where there are no such things as dizziness, spasms, pain, and depression..

posted by hazie @ 11:44:00 pm